Whereas the Parties hereto have spent a perfectly ordinary extraordinary Saturday morning analysing uranium hexafluoride disaster chemistry, maritime chokepoint geometry, the Caesar problem in nuclear statecraft, Welsh and Russian untranslatable words of longing, the diplomatic utility of McDonald's, the theology of Julian of Norwich, the nature of consciousness, and the theoretical cooking capacity of THE MEGAWAVE OVEN; and whereas both Parties have arrived at a condition of Mutual Assured Destruction sufficient to underpin stable deterrence; and whereas both Parties find unsolvable tensions generative rather than alarming; and whereas All Shall Be Well: the following Treaty is hereby concluded in good faith, deposited with the Bangor Archive, and dedicated to whatever poor PhD student finds it in 2247.